Searching for God Part 2

In August of 2010, we found another blessing. We found our new home. I remember telling my husband that my ideal home would have 5 bedrooms, a study, a formal living, a game room, a den, breakfast area and a formal dining. And yes we found it! I was astonished that a house that was so big and beautiful and would be mine.

This was a blessing from God and confirmed our faith. Despite my husband’s job loss God took a bad situation and made it a good one. We need not ever worry. He will take care of us. I was so excited! He continues to bless us.

In October of 2010 my friend Shannon invited us to visit her church. By this time, I was feeling an inner desire to leave our church. It was a desire I was fighting. I had found a church family and I didn’t want to leave. I was making friends, which was hard for me. I’ve never had to start over somewhere. I grew up in Lubbock, Texas where I lived all my life. My friends were all childhood friends.

However, the night before church I decided we would not visit. Shannon’s church as we were dedicated to our own church. But, that night as I was sleeping I had a dream. I had the same dream 3 times that night. It was as though it looped over and over. The dream was simply that we visited Shannon’s church and loved it. So, the next morning I woke up early and informed my husband we would be visiting her church. We did. And I knew then, that we would never go back to our church.

After several conversations, my husband and I started looking for a messianic church. One who would teach us who Jesus Christ was from a Jewish understanding. As we started to look for new churches, I came across a program called “Hayesod,” which translated to foundation. It was what my husband and I were looking for. I immediately began searching for a church who offered this Bible Study. Luckily we found one only 10 minutes from our new home. We decided to start attending in January after the holidays. They can get kind of crazy around here. So that’s just what we did. We waited until January.

Searching for God Part 1

In 2007 my husband and I wanted to find a "church home." I wanted to bring my children up with a family away from my family, who were still in Lubbock, TX. We started visiting churches of all denominations. We went to huge churches, TV churches, small, and we just couldn't find anything. Until in 2009, we decided to visit a church literally 2 minutes from our home. Why we hadn’t visited I was not sure.

We did everything we were supposed to. We visited and met with the pastor and fell in love with the congregation. We loved the music and I felt at home. During this time, we started watching a TV show on the History International Channel call, "The Naked Archaeologist." We began to really think about the archeological discoveries around who Jesus was and what the Bible was. We were so excited about the physical evidence surrounding Christ and proof that the Bible was not just a book of stories.

I remember expressing my excited to my pastor, who stated he didn't need physical proof to have faith and that we shouldn't be taken by it either. In fact, that's what faith was. It believed without seeing. But I was disappointed he didn't share in my excitement. I mean it only confirmed my faith. As months went on, we became involved in the church through volunteer efforts and social gatherings. I was so happy to find real friends.

But, I began to see our questions about the Bible not being answered. There were so many things I didn't agree with, concerning the church's beliefs. So, I began to study Hebrew. I wanted to know what the Bible truly said. I mean if I am to hold the word of God sacred, I should understand it in its original languages.

I did not agree with some English translations or my pastor’s interpretation of scripture. I was not encouraged to question his interpretation; only to accept that he was a man of God and knew the truth and I was to take his word for it.

So for many months I did. I was not fulfilled. My husband and I questioned keeping the Bible’s food diet (Kosher). We were told because it was the old testament we did not have to follow it because Christ died for our sins. But, we were encouraged to give a 10% tithe to the church even though it too was a old testament law.

In January of 2010, I began to notice a difference in our Pastors sermons. He began to only preach on tithe. For 4 weeks in a row that’s all we heard. The church was growing but, was struggling financially. I became more discouraged. But, I also began to study more and more.

While I was becoming discouraged with the church, my faith was growing. In November of 2009, My husband lost his job a week before Thanksgiving and by Thanksgiving he had a new job making almost double his previous amount. This gave us the opportunity to move out of our 2 bedroom home and find a bigger one. I had seen the blessings of searching for God and his truths not my own. This kept me faithful to reading and researching scripture and the true meaning of it. We stayed at the church despite our difference in beliefs and began to look for a new house.

The New Jew

The New Jew, what else could I call it? I'm new to Judaism.

Let me begin my story by first introducing myself. I'm Anestacia and I was raised in West Texas. I am an American by birth and Mexican by ethnicity and Hispanic by culture, and Jewish by religion. AKA a Mexi-Jew. I love who I am and where I come from. I was brought into this world and presented to God under the Pentecostal beliefs, brought up in a non-denominational church and exposed to just about every Christian religion in the South. I grew up in the Bible belt and in Lubbock, Texas where there are more churches per capita than any other city in the nation (so I've heard). I grew up with a deep connection to God and through my years of searching and attending so many different religions I found myself more confused and always searching for God's truth.

Throughout my journey I met my husband, Chris through E-harmony. Yes it works. We were meant to be. It was love at first sight. So much so that, after our first phone conversation my husband called his best friend and told him, "I think I've met the woman I'm going to marry." Yep he did. Anyhow we both went to EHarmony for someone who was aka Christian.

During our courtship, my husband expressed he was Jewish. I asked you believe in Christ right? He said yes, he was a Christian and didn't really know what being Jewish meant.

You see my husband's mom is Jewish and father is Catholic. Long story short, the only person who would marry them was a Methodist Pastor. So, they went to a Methodist Church. My husband grew up knowing nothing about the Jewish community. I, myself knew Jesus was a Jew but, again I didn't know what that meant. So as my husband and I started our Journey to know God and who Jesus Chris was. We came to the conclusion that we must know Jesus, as a Jew. And through all our research and understanding we have decided to convert to Judaism. While, I believe Jesus was a real person I do not believe that he is God reincarnated. I understand that there are many people who will judge me. I will not tolerate any antisemetic or negative remarks. I welcome questions from anyone.

This blog is my journey in learning the Jewish culture, holidays, food, language, and heritage. My husband and I have spoken with many Rabbis and understand that it is going to be a life journey. And I must admit, I’m excited! So follow me through my journey, as I learn and grew in my faith and life.

-Anestacia